Judging by the ominous title, and frankly laughable claim I’ve made in it, surely there are a few people reading this just so they can prove me wrong in their own minds… I’m OK with this! 🙂
There will be some assumptions in this post, and I’m proud to make them, as I’ve done the research with several hundred clients in the past and have heard a lot of these same assumptions.
Now, like me, you’ve probably had a few friends over the years attempt to go on diets, and then you’ve tried it as well, eating a little better and working out a bit more. Then what usually happens? They and you go back to the same, old behaviours and revert back to type.
The problem with this, is that unless you’ve got time to look at every single diet out there and make a judgement after painstaking research… the diet’s going to have to be followed blindly. (By blindly I mean, if it says it affects your metabolism or visceral fat, we accept it)
What we don’t accept however, is the little subtle changes that start happening to our self talk. You only get 50% of the necessary information, which is on the actions, but nothing is said about the mental changes. The different thought patterns you’re going to develop whilst becoming a different person… and it is becoming a different person! If you were that person already now, then you’d already be in the frame of mind and shape you want.
Let’s take a normal type of client for me:
Helen, mum of 2, 30-40 yr old, has a part time job, has a lot of responsibility in her life.
As soon as she starts doing most diets, weight loss clubs or cutting foods out…
Something doesn’t get mentioned, or isn’t planned for…
The DOUBT, self-talk & on some level being comfortable with being that particular body shape, the priorities being mixed up – taking care of the kids etc, the crippling FEAR of what if it doesn’t work again this time?
She says things to herself like:
“Ahhh I’m never going to get back in shape, I’m getting older now”
“I’m ok with ‘x & y’ actually”
“I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work”
“I’m lazy and have no willpower”
“if I could just give up…… then it’d work”
The list goes on… The point I’m making here is that, we’re not just simply calorie combustion engines!
We’re living, breathing, thinking and feeling organisms that have a relationship with the fuel we put in our body.
You’re ALLOWED to enjoy certain foods, and no diet should be restrictive to the point where it’s impossible to stick to.
But the self talk, and endlessly beating yourself up about the single glass of wine or the dessert you had at your kids birthday party… who’s that guilt going to benefit?
Especially when you take it out on your loved ones later 😀
The labels you put on yourself are SO important, and one of the labels I insist on with every new client is that they have to re-frame:
“I’m unfit” TO “I’m getting fitter”
Because they’re doing something about it, and that small change can either make no difference or all the difference in the world.
It can either be you saying to yourself:
“ I’m destined to be unfit and this is another pathetic attempt to change who I really am”
“This is the start of something, and I’m going to be my own best friend through the mistakes, slip ups, comfort zones and triumphs”
Because if you’re not on your own side, then who is? Until you start to challenge your own self talk, and thought patterns and seeing that you ARE doing some positive things and re-frame your mind to think about them more… then you’re doomed!
I’ll leave you with this fantastic quote from a book called “Think & Grow Rich”:
If you think you can do a thing or think you can‘t do a thing, you‘re right. – Henry Ford